Need to control everything

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Need to control everything

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How can I make myself aware of my need to control everything?

Why do I have to control emotions and thoughts? (Fabio)

Since about one year, I don’t feel well. I feel a slight but constant anxiety in everyday life.

For about a year, I didn’t feel so good. It created a slight but constant anxiety… I tried to get rid of this annoying feeling. I tried to understand what was going on inside me.

Aurora Mazzoldi - Mother 5- Control - acrylic painting on canvas - page on Need to control everything.
Aurora Mazzoldi — Mother 5- Control— acrylic painting on canvas

I met so “accidentally” Introspection. After a certain period of work, I detected some internal habits that are affecting my life.

I noticed that the basis of my anxiety was the need for control. And it was just when I felt a lack of control over some situation … that I felt anxiety. I wondered what I wanted to control. At the beginning, not only did I not understand it (or maybe it was my head that didn’t want to understand?), but I didn’t even believe it was important to know it.

It was impossible to continue to ignore what was moving inside and, at some point, I saw clearly a habit of wanting to control more and more emotions and thoughts (my need for control).

The Introspective Work

The first steps of the introspective work were more on an existential level — I revisited my teenage dramas and my repressed anger. Then I also saw how I feel compelled to show myself to others in a certain way. I observed how I try to be like others expected me to be (I wear a mask), and I felt that this too made me anxious.

Now that I have embarked on the introspective path, I aim to accept myself and reality more and more, in the best possible way. Of course, I still have a lot to learn.

For a few months now, my need to control has eased slightly. This makes me understand with no doubt that the path I have taken is the right one.

Fabio